Friday, 30 March 2012

Oh dear God.

I'm probably late to the party here, but I couldn't not speak up after watching this thing. I saw this bunch of assholes on the cover of Kerrang! magazine in the supermarket about a week ago with the headline "MOTIONLESS IN WHITE: Meet Your New Favourite Band!" A glance at Kerrang!'s website sees them called "clever [...] exciting, and changing heavy music for the better" Given that this is Kerrang! we're talking about, a magazine whose credibility as an authority on "heavy music" was nearing its expiry date around the time I was born, I naturally took this with a the entire salt shaker, especially considering that they're sporting a similar pallid, watered-down black metal/Misfits chic to that last bunch of tools who were supposed to be our new favourite band.

Mind you, I didn't find myself getting this worked up about the Black Veil Brides. I mean they're not good, but they're certainly not as cancerously awful as fucking Motionless In White.

Jesus! It's like an amalgamation of every last bad idea from the last decade of music, the lumpy pigshit of breakdown driven deathcore in the Oceano/Waking the Cadaver mold and the watery ejaculate of histrionic, self-pitying theatrics derived from My Chemical Romance/Funeral For A Friend/all the songs I used to skip on the Burnout 3 soundtrack, all brewed up into the worst milkshake imaginable. It's almost as bad as fucking Brokencyde, but people are apparently taking this seriously!

That fucking video... you know, if you want to respond to religious outrage, it helps to prompt it first? To the best of my awareness, there's been no puritanical outcry against the music of Motionless in White, and no wonder when you consider there are literally thousands of other bands making music edgier and more threatening than this. Playing the religious persecution angle just makes them look (more) ridiculous, especially given the bands who are operating in the midst of actual religious persecution. In 2012, I have a hard time believing any but the most staunch and out-of-touch American fundie would even bat an eye at these shenanigans. Mind you, if heavy metal all sucked as badly as Motionless In White, I'm not sure it would bother me if it did still get picketed.

Also, Dee Snider was involved in this video!? Goddammit. I like Dee Snider.

Ugh. I've rambled longer than I meant to, and I'm starting to depress myself. Let's listen to a band who are actually pushing the boundaries of heavy music, shall we? Yeah. That sounds like a plan.

1 comment:

  1. Wow... He actually put on a crown of thorns. What a douche.